My mother, Patsy, wanted to have a difficult conversation with me, one that everyone dreads having with their parents. Finding out what she wanted to do after she was gone came as a surprise. Even when I had bowel cancer a few years ago, I tried to avoid worrying about what it would be like to actually lose Mum. However, she sat me down to tell me that after she died, she wanted to donate her body to medical research.
Mum is 100% sure she wants to be one of the 1,300 people whose bodies are donated for education each year because she believes that without donors, the doctors of tomorrow will not have the education they need. I was torn between admiration and confusion as Mum told me she'd been in touch with a university and everything was planned.
Body donation wasn't on my radar, and if I'm honest, I had a slew of questions running through my head. How would her body be used? Is it possible to have a funeral? However, Patsy Cohen is nothing if not focused and pragmatic.
"I imagine a big saw will appear and chop off a leg, but I don't really care," she told me in her own inimitable way.
A mother wishes to donate her body to show her appreciation to medical professionals, as they helped her when she had bowel cancer and needed surgery four years ago. She wants to help the medics of the future and told me, "I wouldn't be here if it wasn't for them," she said, so giving back is a simple way to give back."
As a journalist and an inquisitive child, I was curious to find out more about what Mum was planning to do. So I made a documentary at a university that uses real human bodies, as well as the one where Mum's body will go. Our photographers had rare access to Cardiff University's facilities to see what happens to our donated bodies. We saw how students 'developed a connection' with their donors and how the donors' families were left behind. Medical students learn from real bodies rather than from textbooks in lecture theatres, which is where the anatomy centre is located.
"There really is no substitute for being able to see, touch, and feel real anatomy," said Dr Hannah Shaw, who leads the anatomy education team.
Just as our bodies are different on the outside, she said that physiology and conditions such as cancer or hip replacements make us different on both the inside and out.
"Textbooks give you the impression that everything is the same and we are not," she said.
However, the use of real bodies in anatomy education is decreasing as a result of technological advancements; human bodies can be recreated in 3D on screens. However, Dr Shaw believes that the real thing provides the best education for students like Freya Gillson.
"Things in real life look completely different to how you imagine they should look," the 19-year-old Cardiff University medical student said.
"So working with donors is incredible. They are our first patients, and you will have a close relationship with them - they're our silent teachers."
When someone who has pledged their body to Cardiff University dies, they are admitted to the anatomy centre as quickly as possible. The bodies are preserved, and if donors are generous, certain portions of the bodies are dissected and retained for further study. Donors can stay in the centre for up to three years. When the bodies leave the anatomy centre, the university provides a coffin for a funeral director to collect. Families will then determine whether they want to cremate or bury them, as well as pay the university's funeral costs.
Families may have a long wait as they mourn their loved ones, which is something Joy Sesay's family had to adjust to.
"Our whole philosophy was about helping people who were less fortunate than yourself and being a good person," Jenny, Joy's daughter, told me.
Joy left a large family behind when waiting for the cremation, with eight children, 20 grandchildren, 23 great-grandchildren, and three great-great-grandsons. Although some people felt they'd had closure, granddaughter AJ admitted to being 'in limbo' without a funeral.
"It's been a bit odd," she said, "It's been the norm, go to the funeral, and then deal with it."
Enquiry rates from people wanting to donate have dropped in recent years in the United Kingdom. While Cardiff has seen a decline, with around 50% fewer people registering since 2020, 154 people still registered in 2024. Not everyone can contribute to science, and for those that do, universities 'strongly recommend' they notify their families.
At the end of the academic year, I attended the university's annual memorial service, where families and students meet. The students don't know who they've worked with, but it's a chance for them to share what they've learned about themselves.
"Seeing the photographs of our donors with their families made it all very real," Freya said of the poignant moment. "Everybody takes a step back and acknowledges that this journey has come to an end."
It's just the start for Joy's family. "You think it should be a one-off gift of your body and you close the book," daughter Carol said. "You open the book and the good that her body will do not only for current physicians but also for future patients. We simply didn't know the breadth and importance of what she did."
If we do have to say the last goodbye to Mum, we'll be in incredible pain, but I'm so glad I know and understand her wishes. "I feel if I'm not here, I'll not be wasted," she told me in typical Patsy fashion, "It's going to do some good and help make a better doctor."
It will give me a great deal of peace to know that she is still making a difference, which makes me extremely proud of her. I'm hoping it'll be many years before I hand Mum over to the care of Cardiff University's anatomy centre, but I'll tell you that Patsy isn't going gently and is still living life to the full. This journey has also led to the decision to donate my body to the centre if I die. Thanks, Mum.
