Parents threatened and blamed by authorities as 1,000 adopted children returned to care

Verity's breaking point with her adopted son Liam came after she had already been threatened with knives and arrested by police after untrue allegations. Ian's husband Ian recalls saying to a social worker at one point, What if we just can't do this any more? she says. You'll be charged with child abandonment, the social worker's reply came without a moment's hesitation: you'll get sued for child abandonement.Verity and Ian are just two of 50 parents interviewed by the BBC during a six-month probe into why adoptive families are being broken apart and their children are returning to care. It has revealed a mystery in which parents are often exposed to lies and blame as they struggle with the needs of traumatized children who have often suffered with abuse and neglect before they were removed from their birth families. Parents testify that being threatened, threatened, and pulled into a mental health crisis, while one adopted child who returned to care says that with greater help, his family may now be together. Warning - this contains a discussion of suicide. The BBC conducted the most comprehensive Freedom of Information request ever into adoptions, finding that more than 1,000 adopted children in the United Kingdom have returned to care in the last five years. That's much higher than the figure in a recent government survey, but the true number is likely to be even higher, as only a quarter of authorities said they obtained this data as standard procedure. One couple told us that the subject is a national scandal and that adoption as it stands is "not fit for purpose.

Adoptive parents do an amazing job providing a loving and caring home to some of our country's most endangered children,

a Department of Education spokesperson said, and that although those arrangements do break down "continue to help adoptive families and keep them together where possible. Through the Children's Wellbeing and Schools Bill, the department said it would be able to help families sooner and better. However, neither the government nor the Local Government Association, which represents local authorities in England and Wales, responded to the BBC's queries about parents being threatened and blamed. When Liam and daughter Lauren were two-and-a-half and his little sister was one, Verity and Ian, from Yorkshire, adopted their son Liam, daughter Lauren 15 years ago. Liam's behavior as he grew, becoming more and more tumultuous, throwing objects and yelling at his parents. They now know that Liam was born in a household where there was extensive domestic abuse before he was adopted.

During Liam's childhood, Verity and Ian were sent seven parenting workshops, which Verity attributes to them as a couple.

The underlying cause of his behavior is being entirely ignored and dismissed,

she says. The trauma is being totally ignored.

The pair reminisce good times as they lauded Liam's passion for dance, attending him at numerous competitions. However, they characterized his teenage years as a

living hell

and they feared for their protection because he would threaten them with knives. Verity left a note for Ian and sped to the coast with the intention of killing herself. A passer-by talked to her, who claims she saved her life. On another occasion, following one of Liam's meltdowns, his parents called the police as they had been told to in a situation like this. After Liam accused Verity of attacking, it was verity who was arrested.

It's the worst experience I've ever had. And that was the point at which I knew that we couldn't even call the police any more," she says.

Verity was released without charge, but she and Ian knew they would not be able to live with Liam. Ian, although threatening their innocence with legal issues, said they knew the return of Liam to care would be adversarial and

laced with threats and misleading bullying tactics. Children are recalled into care across the United Kingdom, according to similar legislation, but local authorities must determine a

threshold

where they must intervene, which usually means looking for signs of abuse or neglect. In one local authority paper, Ian and Verity's home was described as

not a place where Liam feels loved and cared for.

The way it's written is still blaming us as parents for the home situation,

Verity says, but this is not the case at all.

'My heart just broke'

In the end, parents were concerned they could no longer keep their children safe, so Verity and Ian felt they had to force the local authority to obey the local authorities' hand. They gave Liam a deadline by which they would no longer be able to provide him a home, and it would become the council's responsibility to accommodate him. Liam was away from the house, working with one of the dance competition's producers, when she broke the news to him.

She came up to me and said, 'I've just had a call with your social worker and I can't go home,'

he told the BBC. And just hearing that, my heart just broke. Verity says:

It was awful. It was traumatic. It was haphazard. In order for the local authority to get their acts together, we were coerced into doing it this way and effectively making him homeless. Liam, who has been settled and living independently after several previous moves, accepts responsibility for his behavior, but it is

a shame

that it has affected what I call a family. He claims that returning to care was

the kick up the arsethat he needed.I believe if social care had sorted themselves out,

the artist said. I believe we might have stuck ourselves out, and maybe it would have been a different situation. Every adopted child's case is investigated by social workers, and many families continue to need their assistance for many years. They also play a vital role in identifying and assisting children at risk of injury. North Yorkshire Council, Verity and Ian's local authority, said it could not comment on individual cases, but it acknowledged

how difficult it is for families,and that it offerscompassionate, practical assistance when this happens. According to Damien Dobson, a specialist adoption solicitor, parents who can no longer cope or no longer feel they can keep their families safe, they must make the heartbreaking decision to legally abandon their son or daughter. He has worked with more than 400 families over the past five years, and claims that the number of people seeking assistance is on the rise. According to Mr Dobson, England's Children Act is out of date. He believes that local authorities should have the ability to properly accommodate a child who would be considered outside of the parent's custody, without the need for proof of responsibility.

'Desperate for help'

Hundreds of families the BBC met in Manchester, including Verity and Ian, among many others. Hundreds Of families from the BBC's Patch - which stands for Passionate Adopters Targeting Change with Hope - whose supporters are adopting families who are pointing to the system's fundamental flaws. Adoption is lifelong, so must come the help, Jackie from Essex, one of the parents, says. Fiona Wells, a social worker who has adopted herself and a service worker, formed the group after she had a lot of issues with her three adopted children. More than 1,800 online followers have joined Patch now.

Families are joining us all the time, and they are in need of assistance, and have arrived at a point of vulnerability,

she says. Many in the room no longer live with their adopted children, who have been forced into care. If it occurs before the adoption order is signed and finalized, authorities say it would be a disruption and abreakdown if it happens later. However, in several situations, even after a child returns to care, their adopted mother and father maintain parental responsibility under rule and remain in contact with them. According to the BBC's Freedom of Information requests, more than 700 children were returned to care in the first five years before an adoption order was signed and more than 350 followed. About 3,500 children are adopted each year. Prof Laura Machin of Lancaster University, who runs a research group examining adopters' experiences, says these findings are shocking but they are only the tip of the iceberg. Government orders require adoption disruptions to be reported, but does not mention breakdowns, so children who return to care after the adoption is finalized will not be counted, according to her. Prof Machin's study, which surveyed 512 adoptive parents, shows that many adoption disruptions and breakdowns could be prevented if timely and appropriate assistance was available.

The money can be found because when the child returns to the social care system, the funds appear magically. However, it would have been more cost-effective if they had already received the assistance with early intervention,

she says. Many other parents told the BBC they wanted to speak out but were forbidden from publishing the full facts of their lawsuits due to reporting restrictions on Family Court proceedings. One mother, who asked to be identified only as Rachel because she was afraid of retaliation by the authorities, said she and her husband were threatened with police action and incorrectly told by the local authority that they would have to sign away parental responsibility if they request respite care. When Rachel and her husband were adopted two years ago, they were unaware of their two girls' extensive and complicated needs. The couple claim that social workers lied specifically to their children and that misinformation regarding the family was disseminated between officials during a six-year struggle to get them help.

It was clear that they had no intention to help, and within that came the start of some very uncomfortable insinuations, sort of lies. Just so we know, 'Well [the children] seem fine to us, so it must be your problem.

Rachel notes. Matt, not his real name, and his family suffered years of violence as his son's boy suffered with serious behavioral problems. Matt took his local authority in Scotland to court for failing to provide assistance after his son's return to care, citing the Human Rights Act and the right to a family's life.

It's the level of shame and guilt that it is like mourning for someone who is not dead,

Matt said. You just feel like an absolute failure. Unusually, he won an apology. The case was settled out of court, with his council paying the court's fees. Matt claims it wasn't about the money; he wanted to get the local authority to

admit that they've done something wrong. According to Matt and his families, his staff are committed to working with him and his family, and apologise for

any shortcomings.

'Last resort'

Any adopter she has worked with was guaranteed to receive assistance after the adoption order was signed, but that they were old a lie, one social worker with 25 years of experience with 12 different local authorities, who we're referring to. When Sarah saw adoptions in crisis, she blamed the parents.

I've heard that story being used by a boss and by other social workers many times,

she said. But the increasing number of breakdowns over the past ten years had changed her mind and prompted her to speak out, she said. Because

we have high caseloads, we haven't got time to sit and listen,

social workers can't be understood and may not listen to parents. All of this contributes to a blame culture.The British Association of Social Workers said the social work sector is under significant strain, with the highest number of referrals to children's social care in a decade and a depleted workforce. However, it said that there are some instances where care as last resort is often promoted, which means that the need to bring children into care is delayed until it is too late to be planned properly. Liam's parents say that all they would need was love when they adopted him, but that was much more complicated. Love is not enough, Verity says. We still love Liam. Love is not enough.They've grown closer since Liam's adoption, but many other adoptive parents are calling for the system to reform.

Our children have witnessed frightening, frightening, and frightening activities. According to Fiona Wells of Patch, they should be given medical attention for this.

We're not helping children who have suffered with such adversity, so we're dismissing it.